books, books everywhere but not a...oh nevermind

Reading. For each man a different task. For a real man an egotistical act. I enjoy the sense of accomplishment it gives me and the superficial mind power I mistakenly assume I have gained. I want to be able to say to that hot English major at a downtown bar, "Of course I read "The Scarlet Letter," rather than, "Well, I know the story because I...well...spark noted it." It would be a travesty for laziness in high school, to come between a man's lower half and an eventful evening later in life. Furthermore, on the subject of missed oppurtunities, the feeling of a half-read book sitting on your shelf really is incredibly degrading and mocking.
Therefore, we all need to band together and solemnly swear to read all the books assigned to us these last two years. I guarantee it will come in handy later in life. And even if it doesn't, what do you have to lose?

So far for this school year:

Summer Reading:
The Killer Angels
Cats Cradle
Into the Wild

In School:
The Last of the Mohicans
Uncle Tom's Cabin
The Scarlet Letter
Huck Finn
Ethan Frome
An American Tragedy
Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps

Out of School:
Escape from Slavery