probably shouldn't be posted right after wordsworth

I lied to her,
I said,
“I’m not upset,
Because now I’m that guy,
Whose right under your nose,
Without you even realizing it.
And that character,
My darling,
Is the best one,
In almost all the movies.”

But I digress,
Thinking back now, to before all this,
Before I met her,
When my loneliness was a mere abstraction,
And even further,
To when I was a little boy,
Perfectly content,
To slide my little bottom over the chestnut church pews,
And drop a dollar bill,
Into the wicket basket.

I say I’m too cool,
Gotten bigger, and bigger and so on.
Gotten self-respect.
But what is that, when your all
Isn’t nearly enough?